Mr Darcy
by Paloma Latina
Summary: Friday Knight and her gay friend, Jai, decide to give up magic until they can find a partner and settle down for a while. For two pure bloods, it's a lot harder than it seems. When Mr Darcy, Friday's boss, comes into the picture, things suddenly get weird


**Chapter 1**

Friday Knight slowly pulled her wand out of her jean pocket and used it to heat the kettle. It had been a long time since she last was given the opportunity to be at home by herself (the rest of the family were out at a fancy restaurant for lunch) for longer than ten minutes, and she planned to drink tea. Oh, yes, she thought that drinking tea would be a very proper thing to do. Now, how to make tea...

She cautiously put her hand down on the kettle. Still cold. _Bugger_.

Friday sighed and walked around the small kitchen, thinking. She still lived with her foster parents at the age of 27. It was quite sad, actually. She could not be bothered to find a house since it was only going to get messy to the point where it will be known as the next Ground Zero. And, to add to the list of reasons not to go house hunting, her family didn't want her to leave.

Friday was the last of the adopted Knight Children still living with Mr and Mrs Knight. No, Friday had never met her parents. But her mother did name her Friday before putting her up for adoption. Just her luck to get given to the one family that had the worst possible last name for her. Friday Knight. It just didn't..._work_.

Friday had grown up as part of the Knight clan and, by the looks of things so far, would live with her foster parents until they either got sick of her and chucked or out or they died. It was as simple as that. She had attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She went in with a smile, a young innocence, a teddy bear and the will to make friends. She emerged seven years later with a hangover, three feral cats, a gay best friend and a job at the local bar. Not the best achievement, but still not the worst. At least she didn't have wrinkles. Yet.

Friday put her hand back down on the kettle. It was still cold.

"Buggeration."

One thing you had to know about Friday Knight that she cursed frequently. Normally, they would be very colourful or imaginative phrases, too. Some of her very best involved dinghies, hash browns and the word hunky-dory. Yes, quite intelligent, wasn't she? She was fairly advanced in insults, too. Most were, in some way, related to toads. Pleasant girl, she was.

Friday eventually gave up trying to heat the kettle and decided to find something else to do. She had quite a few things in mind that she _should_ do - like clean up her room or try and help out with the washing – but, like every twenty-seven-year-old, she wasn't going to do anything that she didn't _want_ to do. Friday was going to do all the things that she could think of that she wouldn't do if she wasn't at home by herself.

The first thing to do while she was by herself was to walk around naked. It was fun for a good ten minutes, but she got cold quickly. As she slowly got dressed back into her jeans and white t-shirt, another idea popped into her head. What was one thing Linda Knight would not let people do in her house? Blow bubbles, of course! And throw things. Oh, and lick knives.

Friday grinned to herself and headed back towards the kitchen. She was going to find the sharpest knife, cover it in Nutella and then lick it. Oh yes, this was going to be good. Once she reached the kitchen, she rushed over to the cupboard and started searching for the Nutella. It was hidden up the top. With the Peanut Butter, the chocolate...and the detergent. Friday sighed. She still couldn't be trusted after that horrible incident four years ago. The pot plants had recovered, so why was Linda still hiding things?

Friday picked up the Nutella and walked over to the drawers. She opened the top one and pulled out the biggest knife. She grinned as she spread the Nutella over it with her fingers. She slowly lifted it up to her mouth. It was almost at her lips when she paused.

She needed bubbles.

Friday carefully put the knife back down on the bench and headed off towards the laundry. Once there, she dropped down to her knees and opened the bottom cupboard, under the laundry sink. She moved aside polishes, detergents, stray brushes and other, mouldy objects until she reached the back. There, sitting right where she had left it in fourth year, was her bubble mix. She pulled it out and sat up straight. There was just enough left for one more good Bubblefest.

Friday wandered back to the kitchen, the bottle in her left hand. She picked up a stray ball in the hall – Linda liked to spoil her cats – and took that with her. Once she reached the little room, she put both the newly founded objects on the bench next to the chocolate-covered knife. She smiled again. She had waited for the chance to do what she wanted for a very long time.

Before she had a chance to do anything, the Floo rang.

Friday seriously considered letting it ring out. By the third ring, she changed her mind, clearly remembering the last time she didn't answer – she could still feel the bite marks when it got really cold.

She walked over to the fireplace and stared at the note lying next to it. The words _Ministry of Magic_ were written on it. Friday nodded and a head appeared in the flames. It was Darien Shacklebolt, the handsome son of Kingsley Shacklebolt, the retired Minister of Magic. Friday swallowed. She'd always dreamed of one day talking to the local heart-throb.

"Yes?" she managed to choke out, making herself comfortable on the rug.

"Are you Miss Knight?" Darien asked in a deep, calming voice, tilting his head to one side.

"Yes, I am."

"I have Jai R. McCray here. Would you mind picking him up?"

Friday suddenly became very anxious. Jai was her best friend. He gay one. "Ohmigod, what happened?"

Darien grinned. "It was quite funny, actually. Jai got himself into a punch-up at a Gay Rights Festival."

Friday groaned. "I told him to be good. But did he listen? No."

Darien's smile widened. "Well, would you mind coming down? I've managed to get him off all the charges, but he is under a warning."

"Oh, err, sure. I'll come right over."

"Thanks." And with that, Darien vanished.

Friday stood up quickly, excited that she could finally see Darien in the flesh. If he was half as good looking as he was in photos, she was there! She grabbed her pink, cotton coat off the back of the couch and charged back to the fireplace. She threw a handful of powder in and stepped in afterwards.

"The Ministry of Magic!" she shouted, pacing herself for the rush of Flooing.

* * *

She sprinted down the halls of the Ministry, searching for Darien Shacklebolt's office. She found it after a short while. It was the big one at the end, surprise surprise. Friday ran up to it and knocked on the door.

"Just a sec!" a voice called out.

She straightened her pink coat and ran a hand through her hair. She didn't want to look bad for the most-probable next Minister for Magic. The wooden door slowly opened and she came face to face with Darien himself. Alive. In person. Her. Just then. Whee!

"Hello, you must be Miss Knight!"

Friday blushed and started fidgeting under his gaze. "Yeah!" she said, her voice way too high-pitched for her liking.

Darien smiled and stepped back to let her pass. "Come on in."

Friday quickly walked inside. His office was not like she had imagined. She always thought it would be organised and everything would look proper. There would be folders labelled with wanted criminals, the shelves would be filled with weird, illegal contraptions for inspection and the walls would be covered in evidential pictures for various cases. Needless to say, she was wrong. Papers, folders, newspapers and some kind of furry things were all over the floor. Posters of rock bands and pin up girls lined the walls, a stereo was sitting on the desk, clutter was everywhere and the only sign that the room belonged to the Auror was a picture of a handsome man and the words 'Sirius Black: More innocent than me!' above it.

"Sit down, sit down," Darien said, ushering her over to a seat.

"Where's Jai?" Friday asked bravely, her legs turning to jelly. Luckily, there was a chair nearby for her to collapse into.

"Oh, he just went to get a doughnut."

"Umm..." Friday muttered, trying to come up with something witty to say. "That's a nice picture," she said, pointing to the first thing she saw.

Darien turned to see what she had pointed at. It was a picture of a model in a red bikini, riding on a motorbike next to a very buff guy. She slapped a hand to her forehead. How could she be so _stupid_?

"Yeah, I got it from a friend. He studies Third-eye Biofeedback Sufism."

"What's that?"

Darien turned back to her. He laughed as he sat on his desk. Yep, on it. Not behind it, on it. Friday wasn't sure if that was a thing famous people like him did all the time, or if he was just cool like that. She suspected the latter. "Don't ask. I have no idea what it is."

Friday smiled. At least she wouldn't look too dumb. The two finally fell into a silence. Darien was still looking at her, but Friday didn't dare meet his gaze. She fidgeted for a few moments and looked down at her feet. It took her a few moments to realise she wasn't wearing shoes.

"Bullocking, buggering, badger balls," she said.

"Err, okay..."

Friday blushed again. She could have closed her mouth, but no! Friday silently wished the floor would eat her up. It had happened once at Hogwarts, so why wasn't it now? She was, quite seriously, considering jumping out the window when Jai walked into the room. She immediately jumped up and threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank God you're safe!" she squealed, standing on her toes to reach him.

He chuckled – which is quite hard to do when you have a hysterical blonde hanging off your neck. "I'm alright, Friday."

Friday pulled back to observe him. Jai had dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and tanned skin. He was part Italian, part Puerto Rican. Pretty cool, aye? Like most gay men, he dressed well. Friday and Jai had been best friends since, well, almost forever - to them. They met in first year and were inseparable ever since. They had a small group of friends, but not that many since a lot of the kids at Hogwarts were prejudice against queer people.

"Ooh! Look at that bruise!" Friday said, pointing at his eye.

"It's okay. I've got this cream to get rid of it."

"Oh, good. 'Cause we're going shopping tomorrow!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

The two '_adults_' started squealing and jumping around, smiles on their faces. Derain smiled. What else could he do?

* * *

It was the last chance Friday had to do what she was going to do before being interrupted and going to the Ministry, even though she really, really wanted to do it and couldn't before because of certain circumstances and people who got in the way. Yes, she was going to lick that knife. There was nothing that could stop her. Well, apart from some kind of steel iguana.

"Hello? Anybody awake?" Friday called down the hall.

She had finally gotten home (after stopping for pizza, an impromptu back massage, three new pairs of shoes and Christmas Carolling) and she was looking forward to licking that knife. Oh yes, she still wanted to do it. When nobody replied, Friday grinned and started walking towards the kitchen. When she got there, she was horrified to find that everything had been moved. Her bubbles, the ball and her Nutella-coated knife were all gone.

A tear slowly ran from her brown eyes down to her cheek. She had really wanted that knife.

She quietly made her way to her room, climbed over an assortment of clothing, four lamp shades and two handbags and fell onto her bed. She couldn't be bothered changing. She pulled her wand out of her pocket and muttered a complicated spell. Her clothes magically changed to pyjamas. She fell asleep almost immediately.

She'd get that knife if it was the last thing she'd ever do.

* * *

I know, I said I wouldn't start a new story. I lied. Again. But trust me! I'm gonna update soon! Really!

I'd really appreciate a review, too.

RG

xox


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